How to survive a breakup

December 19th, 2009 by admin

There are relationships which end abruptly, while some simply erode over time. Whatever the reason for the separation, it will always involve pain and grief. But there are ways to deal with a breakup. Here are some tips to survive the fall-out.

Accept it’s over

The initial reaction after a breakup is shock. However, some people are very hard to accept the fact and they still need to be told that the relationship is over even though they know it’s now really working out.

However, to some people, the reality of a breakup is hard to sink in and takes months to finally accept it. It is at this stage when a person fantasize of the thought of reuniting with their ex.

Understanding what went wrong

Dealing with a breakup mean accepting what went wrong with the relationship so you can take the first step to your early recovery. Do not dwell on the blaming game and identifying who was at fault. Or do not even question if you did something wrong or why did you deserve such fate. Focus on the nice experience and memories you shared and not put too much emphasis on who was at fault.

It is more positive to ask questions such as “How was things when you first stated dating?,” “What attracted you to each other,?” What made the relationship tick,?” What were the changes on you and your partner,?” “What influenced your relationship,?”What adjustments should have been made that were overlooked?”

The answers to your questions may be hard to swallow, but understanding the reasons will make it easier for you to let go and move forward. You will experience many emotions, such as anger, sadness, guilt, grief and confusion.

Keeping it together

Aside from these many emotions you are undergoing, there are many issues that you have to address immediately when dealing with a breakup. These includes:

The children – This is the most important and the most difficult task to address. You have to face the reality of children support, arrangements for time, visition by the other party/in-laws, birthdays and special occassions.

Money and property – You also have to face the decision on who take possession of which property. Will the house belong to you or to the other party? And who gets to keep the dog? You have to manage the finances now that you have lesser income.

Friends and family – What will you tell your parents/siblings/extended family members/friends? How much details should you give. And you should also maintain relationships with your in-laws.

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