Love at First Sight – A True Phenomenon Or Not Entirely What It Appears?

February 1st, 2012 by Pen Pal

Most people are used to that specific kind of cheesy romantic movie where the main characters fall desperately in love in no more than a few seconds. It only takes a couple of seconds, a chance meeting, their eyes meet across a crowded bar, and in that instant they just know that are destined to be together. Love at first sight! But is this romanticised view of the world anything like reality? Or is love at first sight no more than a delusion? It all depends on what we understand by love. Keep reading to learn more about this phenomenon that has more to do with primal desire than it has about everlasting romance.

In my opinion, people believe in the concept of love at first sight because it provides them with a happy, comforting view of how relationships work, but the truth is that this seemingly common phenomenon doesn’t really exist in the way people think it does. Plenty of you will now be yelling at your monitor, explaining how when your mother and father met, or when you were first introduced to your spouse, it WAS most definitely love at first sight. You’re thinking of people that had the most ardent, intense and instantaneous of connections, felt as if they were 100% fated to meet the other person, and now 10, 20, 30 years later are just as in love and fulfilled as when they started out. I understand, and it goes without saying I’m not saying that the kind of profound, instant attractions that take place every day between strangers can’t evolve into something glorious and long lasting. I just feel that there is a crucial differentiation to be made between love and infatuation (or crush).

Surely all of us at some point in our lives, having spotted a stranger at a short distance, have been immediately smitten with with how they walk, how they laugh, with their entire appearance – even before they say a word, and this I would argue is infatuation. And infatuations can be 100% instantaneous. Our entire body experiences it like an adrenaline spike that makes everything around us hazy, the ground trembles underneath our feet, and millions of butterflies flutter in our tummy. But, thankfully, the crush part doesn’t really last! Because seriously, who could really cope with feeling like that with their other half for their whole life?

Infatuations generally do not last more than a few months, but in that time the object of our desire can do practically nothing wrong, appears perfect in every way. The biological attraction is so powerful as to be almost overwhelming. However, relationships that are based on nothing more than this type of primal attraction are usually destined to end in tears, once the infatuation begins to fade away. We feel attracted to the other by just looking at them, and our body trembles with the merest touch. However, relationships that are based on nothing more than this kind of basic animal attraction are usually destined to end in tears, once the infatuation starts to fizzle out.

No. Love is an emotion that can only truly emerge once the other person’s innermost mind and soul are known to us, including all their defects,which are often not on display during the infatuation period. Arriving at this point takes time, patience and understanding – and it is clearly impossible to know someone in this deep way when you only just met five minutes ago! Luckily, while the infatuation does survive, many lovers make the most of it and get to know each other more profoundly, and so manage to form a sturdy bond that doesn’t die when the hormonal storm comes to a stop.

So, ‘love at first sight’ as such maybe just a fantasy. But remember this doesn’t mean that a short lived crush can’t be the beginning of a true tale of everlasting love!

Melinda Suarez is a life coach who specialises in providing expert relationship advice to couples in difficulty. Her articles have been appeared on various websites and in various languages, including Spanish (como recuperar a tu pareja) across the world.