Online Dating Past 30

July 8th, 2009 by Kings

Do the roles of Mars and Venus reverse when they become thirty-something singles? A candid look at both gender view’s on online Dating, what they seek and what they think about LOVE, SEX, and HEARTBREAK.

Sandra, (Venus) a 36 year old mother of three, from Madison, Wisconsin. Charles, (Mars) a 32 year old, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Both occasionally go to night clubs to socialize, and the old story of men seeking women. While both stated, that they do not go to night clubs to look for potential dates, they both have dated people they have met in night clubs.

It was discovered while conversing with Mars and Venus that they both have dated more than one person at a time, and they didn’t let the cat out of the bag. Instead they kept it from the other parties involved. However, when in a better established situation, honesty would be first and foremost.

Sandra and Charles have been educated by the ups and downs of Dating. Charles shares one thing that he has learned from dating is the importance of communication, something that a lot of Venus’s desire more of from Mars. He now realizes that the lack of good communication lead to unnecessary problems, which caused new problems, and fueled old ones.

Sandra revealed in her past she made the singles dating mistake of allowing someone she dated to drive her car. Something she now regrets, because he later stole her car, a hard lesson, and one she will never forget she has learn. She mentioned her son suggested, she step up her game a little, and take a detour from bankrupt guys and lean towards a doctor that has some funds.

Charles openly spoke about his online dating heartaches. He confessed at times, it has taken him anywhere from six months to a one year to mend his wounds. He feels that it’s important to recover completely from heartbreaks before engaging seriously into someone again. Men seeking women dating is fair game when nursing his injured heart. I asked Charles would he consider dating again, the ones who have terribly wounded his heart. Yes, he says. When asked why? He replied with a very frank answer, revealing maturity. “I would date them again because they were good women, and the reason the dating ended, was due to my dating mistakes.” We spoke about running lines and finding women, Charles stated, that he doesn’t use lines, and finding women to date isn’t hard for him at all, but finding a “Good Woman” is a lot more complicated.

Sandra and Charles both conveyed a great first date would consist of dinner and a movie. Sandra would also appreciate a bouquet of flowers. A first date turn off for Charles’s would be his date telling a lie; for Sandra someone belching would spoil her night. When asked, what do they seek in a great potential date? They both spoke of someone with a good personality. While Sandra also looks for someone with a nice physique, she adds” no one fat.” He must also be respectful, kind, and charismatic. She conveys she will date the opposite sex up to the age of about 40, someone about six years her senior, however, most men she has dated have been two years her junior. Charles is willing to hit the town with someone 13 years older than himself.

I then asked, about shacking up, they both explained, that they have done so, and see nothing wrong with shacking up or one night stands. While Sandra feels she needs about a year to get to know someone before considering shacking up with them. Charles stated, he can’t set a time, he would have to consider the pace of the relationship, the person as a whole, and how he is feeling towards the female in question.

We finally happened our way on the subject of SEX, both shared that they use condoms, which may be why they have never had an STD. Digging deeper into the private thoughts of Mars and Venus they conveyed they both engage in and enjoy foreplay, kissing, hugging, licking and rubbing the body parts down in warm oils. Yes… they both have engaged in and enjoy oral sex, but never until after the prelude encounter. When asked, do they think there is a difference in sex with someone they love and with someone that they have no emotional attachment too, their answers were a resounding YES! Charles also added sex with someone that he has no true emotional attachment too is called the F- word. And when he has that same encounter, with someone that he has an emotional bond with, it’s called intimacy, which enables him to be open, and compels his freaky side to come into play.

Take a moment to surmise, which one stated, that sex can lead to true love for them. If you guessed, Sandra you are incorrect. Charles commented that if he is feeling the female; the loving she put on him, can lead him to the L-word. You hear me ladies? It’s not always about that old adage, “food is the sure way to a man’s heart.” Hot loving works too these days for men seeking women!

My last question may give you a hint as to why; sex can lead to love for one and not the other. What do you really want when you engage in sex? Sandra laughed for a moment at the question, “Oh WOW!” then she says, “Intimacy, Romance “and I quote “an orgasm and a nice size penis.” Charles responded he simply strives to make his dating partner content; and you know when Venus is content she wants to return the favor to me.

Many years after puppy love, and Mars lack of speech is still getting him in trouble. It seems all those wounds of the heart for men seeking women, have mellowed him quite a bit. Then there is Venus… the thirty something, loss of her faith in dating the fairytale of the knight in shiny armor. It’s possible that the three -O and beyond years, is the cause of Venus appearing to get in dating where she fits in, only taking a slight notice in Mars, when his conversation comes at the right time, and when it’s long enough and deep enough. My guess is that the Dating roles have been reversed for men seeking women, but I can say that only on a case by case basis.